Comparison as part of an FLR

Cager Johnson
3 min readJan 13, 2024
Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

My wife and I have been practicing permanent chastity for over seven months now. In that time we have had ebb and flow regarding our commitment to chastity. Or at least the amount of energy we put into it. And with that ebb and flow have come new lessons and tools. One thing MKH does that I’m not even sure she’s aware of, is to openly compare me to other men.

Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash

Like I said, I’m not sure that she’s even aware of what she’s doing or it’s affect on me. It usually starts after we’ve gone out with another couple. When we get home and are getting ready for bed or maybe the next day, in either case she’ll begin recounting the fun she had…then she begins to sing the praises of her friend’s significant other.

Photo by Vidar Nordli-Mathisen on Unsplash

She doesn’t directly say that she finds that man attractive or sexy, but rather will say things like, “Brad takes Jennifer to his place in Florida, he’s got a boat and they go out on the water.” Or maybe it’s, “Harry and Olivia just got back from Italy! They spent three weeks crossing the country.” Sometimes it comes across more direct, “What do you think about Kate’s husband, Bill. He wears really hip clothes that look good. You should pick out some shirts like his. Maybe you could go shopping together?”

Photo by Sammie Chaffin on Unsplash

The effect on me is pretty pronounced. It’s humbling and can immediately deflate my ego. I don’t argue or disagree; I just listen. And of course then I’m immediately upping my game. I’m doing everything I can to serve my queen so that she can see my devotion and how much better I am than anyone else. It stings in the moment but at the same time it motivates me to be a better me for her. It is kind of like having another man in the relationship but without the messiness. I try to separate myself from what I’m feeling, so that I can take in what MKH is telling me and act on it.

Photo by Parabol | The Agile Meeting Toolbox on Unsplash

So if you’re in an FLR and looking for new ways to engage with your partner, I highly recommend using comparison as a tool to motivate the submissive. It gives the submissive feedback to work with and goals to work on. You also get the benefits of having someone(s) for your submissive to benchmark their appearance, performance, and masculinity against. Once you’ve spoken about another man in a positive way that points out short comings in the submissive partner, your submissive will keep his eyes on this man (and his wife/Dominant when he’s around) for clues on how to serve and impress his Queen.

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Cager Johnson

a Scorpio born in the west, raised in the mid-atlantic with thoughts, experiences and a desire to grow. I’m in the 1st year of a permanent chastity FLR.